Rajiv Dua’s attraction to men and women dates back to his teen years. Dua grew up in Delhi at a time when 1 in 20 households had a telephone, people communicated across towns via postcards, and there were no video recording devices. It was a time when Indians knew that one could be attracted to men and women and they were permissive as long as personal matters were kept between consenting adults.
When Dua looks back on his personal journey he wonders whether things are better now. “I think there is a small regression, in fact,” he says. He grew up in a culture that may not have understood the complexity of sexual orientation but at least refused to condemn dual attraction outright. “The discourse has become more stringent,” Dua says. “Now we have very strong gay groups, very strong trans groups but, somehow, bi visibility has not taken root at all.”
Dua thinks this regression is due to
- lack of understanding, and acceptance, that desire can be many hued and fluid, and
- failure to disengage same-sex behavior from disease transmission.
In the 1980s, when Dua moved to Mumbai to get his master’s degree in medical and psychiatric social work, one of his first cases was a teenage boy with anal gonorrhea. The boy was being treated with medication but the doctor and social worker wanted Dua to guide the boy out of his “habitual homosexuality”. Dua protested that there was nothing wrong with the boy, which only resulted in a stern lecture from the head of the department of social work of the hospital where he was placed. Post graduation, Dua was also engaged in many “Pentothal Interview” cases in which men would be induced into a semi-conscious state, using the “truth serum” sodium thiopentone, and given positive suggestions to change their behavior. This is when Dua began to wonder whether what had been considered socially acceptable until then had now begun to move into a disease paradigm, particularly in the absence of a meaningful discourse on desire and sexual orientation.
|Rajiv Dua is a trained social worker and community health expert. He has a post graduate qualifications in Social Work with specialization in Medical and Psychiatric Social Work.
His coming out story appears in Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World edited by Robyn Ochs and Sarah Rowley.
Currently Rajiv consults in the field of HIV/AIDS with focus on health issues of men who have sex with men, transgender people, people who inject drugs, sex workers and other key populations. He also consults for malaria transmission prevention issues.
Despite his interest in science, Dua, while growing up, did not know of any research targeting bisexuality. “Until the 1990s, there was not much research on LGBT people in South Asia, including India,” he says. “We relied on information from the West. Most of the articles I have read to date stem from the U.S. or Australia.” He fears that bisexuality may not be an interesting subject of study for most. He knows that many bisexuals are not out and would be reluctant to talk to investigators, especially if the investigators identify as gay or work for predominantly gay organizations.
In the 1990s, HIV spread rapidly in India and everything changed. Research conducted during this time focused on same-sex behavior within the context of the disease paradigm. Dua also remembers being the only out bisexual volunteer in a predominantly gay male environment of a HIV services organization. He recalls being shut out of discussions if he ever brought up the subject of desire or attraction to both genders. These men believed that gay-identified single men did not have HIV and that HIV was spread by closeted, married men that were coming into the gay community seeking sex. The discourse on sexuality was hijacked by the discourse on HIV and bisexuals came to be seen as the bridge to sexual transmission of diseases. Gay men also considered bisexual men unreliable and likely to dump the gay man for a woman. Another group that he tried to join – also a predominantly gay male group – told him not to come to their meetings and talk about women. They accused him of trying to promote marriage. Some even sent anonymous emails to his employers outing him.
Dua went silent for a while but not for long. Luckily at the time a small Internet revolution was talking place in India and he was able to log on to the early version of Bi.org and read some essays written by bisexuals. He joined email ListServs and online discussion groups and rekindled his passion for equal rights activism. He credits L. Ramki Ramakrishnan as an early inspiration who elevated his understanding of the issues germane to bisexuality. Another mentor and role model helped him start a support group for bisexuals in Mumbai. The group served people who knew they had desires for both genders. Male sex workers, who had male and female clients, also came and, remarkably, a few gay men came to learn more about bisexuality. The group ran weekly until Dua had to move back to Delhi where he has continued his work in HIV prevention among men who have sex with men (MSM) and transgender populations.
Dua, meanwhile, has decided to be true to himself, keep coming out, and continue to explain bisexuality to those who don’t get it. He is fascinated by the Kinsey Scale. “It talks about sexual orientation and attraction as a continuum,” he says. “It reflects the spectrum nature of sexual orientation rather than binaries.” Still, he thinks that the positions in India have hardened over time primarily due to the perception of bisexuality as a vector for disease transmission. “The good thing is,” Dua says, “that a lot of women are coming out and speaking out about bisexuality, particularly over the past 4-5 years. Hopefully that will reduce the pressure and hardened stands from people denying the existence of bisexuality.”
In the next article, Bi Magazine talks to a couple of Indian bisexual women about their experience and perspective.
- India’s Stonewall – January 2014
- Bisexuality in India: How Section 377 Impacts the Discourse on Bisexuality – March 2014
- Desire, Bisexuality, and Sexual Orientation in India: 1970s to Now – May 2014